The
Steps to Confession
are:
Examination of Conscience
Before we get to
the church, we mentally review our sins and determine what needs to be confessed.
There are various methods of doing this, but one good way is to consider
your Duties to God, Church, family, society and to yourself to see where
you've failed to honor them. A detailed way of doing this is provided in
the "What to Confess: a guide to Examination of
Conscience" section at the bottom of the page.
A Catholic is required to go to Confession once a year (normally during
Lent) and also at any time of the year he has mortal sin on his soul
(is "not in a state of grace"), especially if he desires to receive the
Eucharist. But weekly -- at least monthly - Confessions are encouraged.
The Sacrament is normally offered before Mass (see parish or chapel bulletin,
parish website, or call your parish's office), at least on weekends. You
can also call your priest to set up an appointment for the Sacrament (for
"just reason" only, you have the option of receiving the Sacrament face to
face, outside of the Confessional, but this is not standard and should not
be treated as though it is). Most Traditional Catholic Churches
have confession before all Masses.
What Penance is: it is the Sacramental pardoning of the eternal effects
of our sins for which we are truly contrite. It is effected by Christ, Who
paid their eternal wages with His passion and Crucifixion, through His priests
using proper form. Through the Sacrament, Christ gives us not only forgiveness,
but grace to remain steadfast.
What Penance is not: psychotherapy. While the priest may give you
some direction and advice in the Confessional, if you have general problems
or spiritual issues you want to discuss, you should set an appointment to
talk with him. This is especially true at a Confession before Mass where
people are in line behind you and time is short.
Contrition
Contrition is
"willful regret" for one's sins. It isn't a matter of one's
feelings of guilt, but of conviction of the evil of sin and the resolution to sin
no more. In other words, contrition is rooted in the will, not in the emotions.
For example, some people are more emotional than others: some get a case
of the "scruples" and feel shame or guilt over any little thing, whether
it's sin or not; others can commit murder and never "wallow" in guilt but
are still truly contrite. The one is not necessarily more "holy" or making
a better Confession than the other. What matters is their conviction -- their
will to offend God no more, and their resolution to make reparations as far
as possible, do their penance, and patiently bear the temporal effects of
their sins. Without contrition, Confession is not valid.
"Imperfect Contrition" (also called "attrition") is regret out of fear of
God's just punishments for sin; "Perfect Contrition" is regret for having
offended God. We must always strive for the latter, which always absolves
sin in itself if it is coupled with the will to also receive the
Sacrament.
One of the keys to confession is the desire to be rid of all of one's sins.
If this is your will, if this is your desire, if you are willing to confess
all of your sins and do your penance and resolve to sin no more, then your
sins will be forgiven - all of them, even those you may have truly forgotten about. But don't kid yourself, either, and think you can skip
mentioning this sin or that one because you're embarrassed. Don't lie to
yourself, to your priest, or to God, by omission.
Confessing Your Sins to God through His
Priests
When the Sacrament
is typically offered: before Masses, Saturday afternoons, and by appointment.
When you get to the church at the time the Sacrament is offered, you may
or may not find a line of people standing or lined up in a pew outside the
Confessional. Just take your place in line, keeping a wide berth of the
Confessional itself if it is occupied by a fellow penitent (it is very rude
to be near the Confessional when someone else is using it!).
Some confessionals have a green light shining when a priest is ready and
available in the Confessional, and a red light shining when someone is in
the Confessional with him, receiving the Sacrament. Others don't. In any
case, when it's your turn, enter the Confessional and kneel. You may barely
see the priest on the other side of the grille (the screen which separates
you).
When you are ready to begin, make the Sign of the Cross and say, in a whisper, but loud enough so he can hear you:
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned. It is ( N days, weeks, months, years ) since my last Confession.
I accuse myself of the following sins.
You then name the
sins you need to confess, indicating, in the case of mortal sins, how many
times you've committed them. If you're unsure of exact numbers -- but only
if you are unsure -- tell him "about how many" times you've committed the
sin. Ex., "I've lied to my mother twice, I stole a candy bar from work once,
I've had lustful thoughts too many times to count, etc." Don't go into a
lot of detail, don't name other people who may have sinned with you, but
do tell him what he needs to know in order to understand relevant circumstances
of the particular sins -- that is, circumstances that might mitigate your
culpability or make you more culpable. For example, telling him about stealing
a loaf of bread because you were starving will elicit a different penance
and spiritual direction than if you tell him you stole a stack of money because
you wanted to buy some porn. If you are unsure as to whether a particular
act was a sin, tell him. As you speak, he may stop you to ask you questions
for clarification.
When you are finished, indicate so by saying something like the following
traditional words:
For these and all
the sins of my past life, I ask pardon of God, penance, and absolution from
you, Father.
Penance
Now the priest
will give you penance to help you pay for the temporal effects of your sins.
He might ask you to say certain prayers (the old
"Say 3 Hail Marys"), he may ask you to read certain parts of Scripture. If
there is restitution to be made, he might ask you to do so. Whatever he asks
you to do, accomplish it as soon as possible after leaving the
Confessional.
Act of Contrition
Now you will make
an Act of Contrition to express your sorrow at having offended God and resolving
to sin no more. The traditional way of doing this is to recite aloud the
prayer called "Act of Contrition":
O my God, I am
heartily sorry for having offended Thee and I detest all my sins because
of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God,
who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the
help of Thy grace, to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.
Latin:
Deus
meus, ex toto
corde poenitet me omnium meorum peccatorum, eaque detestor, quia
peccando,
non solum poenas a Te iuste statutas promeritus sum, sed praesertim quia
offendi Te, summum bonum, ac dignum qui super omnia diligaris. Ideo firmiter
propono, adiuvante gratia Tua, de cetero me non peccaturum peccandique occasiones
proximas fugiturum. Amen.
If you have a hard
time memorizing, you can pray aloud using your own words to
the same effect - i.e., expressing your contrition for having displeased
God and resolving to sin no more and avoid the near occasions of sin -- but
you should try to memorize the traditional Act of Contrition and teach it
to your children. (Note: a "near occasion of sin" is a situation in which
you are likely to sin. For ex., going to the mall might be a "near occasion
of sin" for a kleptomaniac who hasn't learned to control his behavior; keeping
company alone with a girl he is extremely attracted to in a sexual way might
be a near occasion of sin for a man, etc.)
Absolution
Now comes the good
part (it may come as you make your Act of Contrition, so don't be
confused if the priest starts whispering in Latin as you pray): Christ, through
His priest, grants you absolution in a form that includes the words below.
Without the words in italics (the very form of the Sacrament), the Sacrament
is not valid:
Dominus noster
Jesus Christus te absolvat; et ego auctoritate ipsius te absolvo ab omni
vinculo excommunicationis (sespensionis) et interdicti in quantum possum
et tu indiges. [making the Sign of the Cross:] Deinde, ego te absolvo
a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
English:
May our Lord Jesus Christ absolve you; and by His authority I absolve you
from every bond of excommunication and interdict, so far as my power allows
and your needs require. [making the Sign of the Cross:] Thereupon, I absolve
you of your sins in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy
Spirit. Amen.
He will pray a
prayer for you:
Passio Domini nostri
Jesu Christi, merita Beatae Mariae Virginis et omnium sanctorum, quidquid
boni feceris vel mail sustinueris sint tibi in remissionem
peccatorum, augmentum
gratiae et praemium vitae aeternae.
English:
May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the Blessed Virgin
Mary and of all the saints obtain for you that whatever good you do or whatever
evil you bear might merit for you the remission of your sins, the increase
of grace and the reward of everlasting life.
The Sacrament is now complete. The priest will dismiss you, perhaps with
a final blessing. Thank him, cross yourself, and
leave the Confessional.
Carrying out your Penance
As soon as possible,
carry out the penance you were given. Do all you can to avoid near occasions
of sin, to bear patiently the temporal effects of the sins you've committed,
to make restitution to anyone you've harmed. You may add penances of your
own devising to the one(s) the priest gave you. But, no matter what, savor
the sweet knowledge that you are forgiven. Praise to our Lord Jesus
Christ, the Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world! He has said
the word, and you have been healed!
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